Okay friends and family, I hope you're sitting down. 'As the D turns', has a new episode. Yep, this is my hubby Monday evening. Grab a cup of coffee, put your feet up, get comfortable and start reading.
He called me around 4 (Monday) at work and said, "Could you please come by ER on your way home from work?" That question would put fear into most women, for me it received just a sigh and a question. "What did you do now?"
The reply is, "I cut my finger so I'm in ER."
When I get to the hospital there's my hubby lying on a gurney. I look down at his baby finger and it's not a nice simple clean cut like from a utility knife. I sigh and say, "What did you do?"
D: "Well, I was working on the deck and cut my finger with the circular saw." Yes fans, it was that ugly.
He cut through the fingernail from the tip of the finger to where the nail comes out of the skin. The finger is dangling....okay that's graphic enough. Just suffice it to say it wasn't pretty. The doc in ER thought he was going to lose that part of his finger. The surgeon they called in said he knew a specialist that could probably rebuild the finger. So they stabilized it and we headed to the orthopedic surgeon the following morning (Tuesday).
She sees with some work, she can repair it with hopes that most or all of the nail will take root and grow again. The finger stitched back together and with some grafting over the end that's white and dead, it'll look pretty normal but he won't have feeling in that one spot.
After awhile and quite a bit of cleaning, they again stabilize the finger in a big splint with lots of cushioning and make an appointment for surgery Friday morning. They'll put him in a light sleep so it'll be easy to wake him, not require a tube down his throat and make it so he won't feel or remember any of the surgery.
Now most of you would say he'd stay out of trouble. NOPE!!!! It turns out he needed an EKG before they'd do surgery. Instead of calling me back from work to take him (awhile after seeing the surgeon) Tuesday morning, he drove himself to the doctor for the test.
While getting out of the truck, he caught his finger on the door and ripped the splint and protective padding off of it. Yes, he said it hurt like....well you get the picture.
As luck would have it, the orthopedic surgeon is downstairs from our family doctor who was going to do the EKG. So D stopped in at the surgeon's office (second time that day) and had them wrap the finger again.
I'd like to point out that when I got home I immediately noticed the finger was wrapped differently and asked why. He had to confess his trip back to the doctor and the damage made to his poor little finger.
Just a few points. This happened because he was too cheap to go out and buy a $40 Forsner bit to do the job that needed to be done. Instead he thought he could save money by making the cut with the circular saw. Um...WRONG!
I asked how long it would have taken to go buy the required bit and he conceded maybe 30 - 40 minutes. So my comment was, "Let's make this easy. $40 and 40 minutes to get the right equipment. Right?"
D: "Well, yeah."
Me: "So now you've spent 5 hours in ER and spent a few thousand dollars and the finger is still not fixed."
D: "Uh huh."
Me: "Now we've got plastic surgery to put the finger back together, which means more doctor visits and probably a little less than $15,000 or $20,000 to do the job."
D: "Uh huh."
Me: "I'm thinking, $40 for 40 minutes is looking pretty good right now."
D: "I suppose if you look at it that way, yeah."
At this point I'm about ready to fall on the floor laughing at his male mentality. Then he hits me with sticking his pinkie up in the air and says, "I think Home Depot should let me give the safety classes." I almost peed my pants laughing so hard!
He said, "Ya gotta have the right tool for the right job!" Duh, now the light goes on over his head. Hahahahahahaha!
I'm one tired, exhausted, wife with a very warped sense of humor. Definitely not the same woman he married 38 years ago. I like to think of myself as seasoned. LOL!
Ah....note to self. Thank boss tomorrow for the wonderful Health Care plan I'm taking for a test spin. {;- )
3 comments:
Good lord! Why do you let touch power tools! It might be cheaper to subcontract the job out.
There are some things I don't let Will do because he hurts himself. Anything electric for trimming anything in the yard, I do. Most stuff dealing with electrical wiring, I do. I've him shock himself one too many times.
I hope that Uncle Dave is doing okay and keeps his finger. He should be drinking tea, so he can stick out his finger.
That man and power tools is a complete love/hate relationship.
Tell him to be more careful! I use that "the right tool for the right job" line on Paul when I buy new knitting needles.
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